To the Moon, Sweetheart
Life has gone through some pretty incredible changes in the last 8 months. I have settled into a new home which gives me the opportunity to expand what I offer as a coach and in building community. Things have been “sticky” while I get things sorted with my new ventures with very little capital to work from, which has been frustrating but not discouraging. This week I took some time to “check in” with Money as I was paying attention to taxes and accounting. Here’s the results…
From me, to Money:
I feel you. Under me, around me, supporting me.
I’m sitting in my mom’s chair, using her paper and pen and drinking her tea. Just by being here and giving love to her pets… bringing my work and doing it here… I am reducing my debt. You are in bigtime flow around this.
Yesterday I had set aside to begin working on accounting and taxes… and yesterday I got a flurry of messages from the former boyfriend around “money that should have been.” It immediately pulled me back into the feelings in my body that I’d had while with him – the feelings of inadequacy and failure, of hidden shame.
Now I feel …I see why I had such a gnarly relationship with YOU. Why I ended up so pressed that I finally WROTE you. So, in that sense, it was a gift – experiencing that yuck with him. It opened this door to true relationship with you.
And I do not miss being in that.
Now, I can sing my own song.
So far my song has been pretty dramatic – full of unexpected swoops and last minute recoveries – I like the adventure, and would like the current of the piece to rise a bit higher above baseline.
Oh, snap – my baseline has ALREADY raised! I can look back and see it! Oh, thank you —- YES … More of that, that’s where I like to be aimed!
I like knowing that my rent for next month is already taken care of. I like the freedom of experimenting with possible revenue streams in my home and with my gifts. I truly enjoy investing into the beauty, appeal, usefulness, and FUN of the spaces in my home.
I feel you beside me in the trenches. I have been working with what has been in my hands – sowing it back in —
———the harvest is coming.
What if this summer was the MOST MONEY I’VE MADE YET?
What if I have just turned everything inside out with the doors I have opened and the beds I’ve made?
THIS is the zone *I* live in with you.
And Money wrote back:
We are on it, girl.
Have you felt me working behind the scenes? I know exactly which people you need to talk to, and when. I’ve got it all mapped out with the elements you’ve been speaking to me.
Yeah, I know it’s looked like its gotten stuck a few times in the last few months, but you saw how quickly and easily it unstuck, right? Just the remainder of the gunk working its way out of the system.
We’ve overhauled it. And it is just giving its first roar of life. Revving its engine. Tie your hair back, sweetie, because it’s about to take off. No need to feel afraid of the speed – we’re heading in the trajectory you set; we may get there faster than you anticipated because this engine is HOT! – So have your map and heart and imagination open and ready to choose the next destination. We can cruise a bit for a while, if you want, to savour the air of that space.
But I know you love the feel of the engine’s power under you.
We’ll gun it again, boy howdy.
Here’s what you need to know:
- Be clear – I’m totally following your direction.
- Be present – There is only the now. So much is taking place beyond your sight, all you know is what you see and feel right now, and even that is just a fraction of the story.
- You’re woven in with everyone else. The more ready you are to dance in and out with the others I weave in, the more fun and easy this will be.
- For god’s sake, SMILE! We’re on an adventure! I freakin’ love that you are aware and beside me in this, trusting in me!
To the moon, sweetheart.